Vitamin Connection

Today, while I let the kids burn of some excess steam at our local McDemon's, my two-year-old daughte duck-walked toward me with a frantic look on her face.

"Mommy!" She said in low, plaintive tones.. "Mommy!"

At once, I knew what to do. This daughter of mine - all my kids, for that matter - live in a sort of denial that their bodily functions exist. They resist telling me they need to go, waiting instead until I smack their little bottoms onto the potty by force. It's a system riddled with failure, but then, diapers are expensive, and most of the time, we muddle through.

Today, however, was not the day on which I wanted to fail. And this was not the place.

"BOYS!" I hollered over my shoulder as I grabbed my daughter in a strategic, bottom-outward, footbal hold. "Follow me!!" We made a mad dash to the bathroom, the kids all in their sock-feet, while I tried to ascertain via olfactory input whether or not I'd be peeling my daughter's pants from her backside.

But - oh joy! - her veritable slate was clean! "HOORAY!" I cheered from the recesses of the stale-smellng restroom. (I'm sure half the drive-through customers heard my celebration.) "HOORAY! Honey, you did it! You told Mommy you needed to go (well, sort of, anyway) - and you held it in! I'm so proud of you!!" On I gushed, stopping only long enough to kiss my cherub's rosy face and ask her that all-important Real Life Question: "Aren't you happy you did such a good job?"

My daughter looked up at me with cool, emotionless eyes. "No," she said calmly.

My bubble of joy disappeared with a nearly audible pop.

I blinked. Perhaps I had misunderstood. But a second questioning garnered the same response, and I was left staring in awe at this manifestation of the teenage years, sitting before me on her porcelain throne and gazing over my right shoulder at some vision only she could understand. I was crestfallen. I was hurt. How could my obvious pleasure not touch her pliable little toddler's heart? What had I done to deserve this?

What, indeed.

It's been a busy several days at our house. My older son has been acting up, and the round of continual discipline has created a tense atmosphere for us all. Additionally, I've been spending more time than usual organizing my life - on the computer, in the kitchen cabinents, in every messy cubpoard for which I have time - you get the idea. Just this afternoon, my daughter walked up to me while I rushed about, cleaning the post-lunch clutter, and said quietly, "I want you to hold me, Mommy."

To which I replied (and I quote): "Not yet, okay? Mommy has to finish her chore first. I'll hold you later."

This response makes me shudder. In it, I see the seeds that germinate into a lack of connection between mother and child. Of course no mother has time, all the time, to answer her child's every whim. But here - in this instance - I would have done well to stop all and sit quietly, holding my small treasure close.

After all, I want her to lap up my praise. I want her to know that my pride should create an equal and satisfying pride in herself. I want her to form her ideas of Right, Good, and Wise from my example, meager though it may be. I love her - she must know that! I hope that my joy and care for her heart will encourage her to try things that she might not have otherwise tried - and to succeed!

In short: I want her to respond to me the way I'm sure God longs for me to respond to Him.

The difference is, He's never too busy to hold me. His praise is always timely, and if I receive it with reserve, it can only be my fault for losing the connection, not His. This is comforting, in that I know even if I fail my daughter, God will ultimately find her. But it is also a call to rise higher - to follow His lead and offer my kids such a continual stream of love and praise that they covet it in the most healthy of ways. I fear lest we ever become so disconnected as to sever those needs for affirmation and grace, and I pray such a day never comes.

But now - in the present, in the mean time - I hope for the best. I hope I will maintain a strong bond with my children, fostered through following my Master's example. I hope that I offer them incentive through my constant praise. And I hope that, next time we are in an oh-so-public place, my daughter anticipates my heartfelt pride and comes to me sooner with her potty needs.

Shoot, I hope she comes to me with all of her needs - and that I'm always ready to listen. That's what Connection means to me.