Vitamin Wait

I stare at the wall. The house feels quiet, tense -- or maybe that's just me. I'm waiting. Waiting to hear about a house on which we've placed an offer. Waiting for the dust to settle on career decisions for my spouse. Waiting to see just what scholastic scenario works best for our three kids. Waiting for word from God on my own marching orders, moving forward. In every crucial department of life, I feel "on hold" -- and although I've grown up since the days when this situation would have me in a puddle of tears long ago, I still feel the stress. I'm finite. I'd like to know. And yet ... 

I feel the Lord move. I reach for my phone, dial up a friend who's been feeling a bit down. We chat for a while, and she shares heart's burden as she prepares to pack up a home with no idea in the world of where she might move next. The waiting feels painful, I hear between her words, and I deeply, personally relate.

Yet I hear my own voice offering other words, too: Words I could not have prepared. Words that speak to my soul.

It's okay, I tell my friend. I'm excited for you. God has you just where He wants you. This waiting isn't a mistake, it's a crucial part of His plan. Your convoluted path to find out "what next" doesn't mean you've missed God's voice. His voice says, "wait," because in that waiting lies His greatest good for your life. He's giving you a journey, the purpose of which you may not realize until later, but it's entirely intended, entirely right. Go ahead! Relax and enjoy this season, because God planned it on purpose for you. 

We share a prayer. We hang up. I shake my head as I replay God's words to us both in my mind. Sometimes He reaches me best when He speaks through me to others. 

I smile, sit back, and stare at the wall yet again. Nothing's changed in my visible life, but inside, I've found a sweet space of peace. Whether my many seasons of "what next?" exist purely to help me serve those I love, or whether they're achieving other purposes as well, I don't know. But I do know that my perspective has shifted, and that even in this small, sitting-still span,  I find grace. All things - even waiting - really do work together for good when I experience them in His love. 

I lean forward. I can hardly wait for what's next.