Vitamin Tom

I am so grateful for my church family! But today I want to think about my pastor and his family. I'm driving home from a wonderful visit with mom in Spokane. I had all these hours in the car, and I was just feeling the need for some teaching. I shot Tommy phone call, it was just uploading the sermon from this morning. So I had the pleasure of hearing the sermon I missed while I was frantically scouring thrift store clothing racks for treasures. What a gift! I am so blessed to know the Rush family. Truly encouragers in our faith, they are. I pray God listens them up every day, just as they lift up others. When Eric, from Desert light Church in Albuquerque, said he knew God was sending us here to provide us with family, I do believe God had this church and these people in mind. Praise you, Lord, for filling our hearts with good things. How ceaselessly I delight in your mercy!

Vitamin Kristen

I am so grateful this morning for all the Kristins in my world. But one in particular has made my day. I'm driving through the early morning sunrise right now, headed to Spokane for some time with my mom. Chris, my fantastic, amazing spouse, went out to warm up the car for me this morning just to be nice. I am an hour and a half or more down the road, and was just on the phone with my friend Kristen. We were discussing Sunday school, because she and I take turns leading every month. Chris tried calling and while we were on that phone call. So I hung up and called him back. Lo and behold, the keys dangling in my ignition are his keys. And I dutifully packed my own in my purse earlier this morning. His unlooked for act of kindness turned into a horrible moment when he realized he had no way to get Jared to school or himself to work. For me to turn around and bring the keys back would cost an extra three hours of the day. For him to call the locksmith would be so costly and probably a time waster too. But because I had just been on the phone with Kristen, I remembered that usually have an extra car and have recently loaned it out to some friends. One quick call and our whole dilemma was solved! Kristen is off work today, and so eager and willing to go out of her way to help. And what's more, it's not even that far out of her way. She was already planning on stopping by our house to get the Sunday school notebook. I suppose this post shouldn't be titled vitamin Kristen, but vitamin Christ. How does he do it? Take all the snagged and disconnected parts of our life and we them into something so intentionally, amazingly beautiful. It really does seem like even our mistakes and feelings are almost just what he wanted so he could prove his glory. It's pretty awesome to have a reason to praise him this morning instead of a reason to be rate ourselves. Now, I wonder how I would feel if things had worked out quite so smoothly? Could I praise him just as fully? Now that's a question worth pondering for the next 100 miles.

Edit: I wanted to mention that visiting with Kristen about this reminded me of my desire to have a more noble character. God was giving me a good example of a strong character in her response to our need. So often when people have needs, and they are outside my normal schedule or expectations, I become overwrought and shut down.  I think I even resent them sometimes. It's weakness. Selfishness. Thank you, God, for giving me someone to look up to this day. Thank you for being the best example of all.

Vitamin ride

It's been a long time. So much has happened. But will just focus on this moment. The moment I am driving home after dropping my boy at school.v he goes for one class every morning all week long. The drive to get there is a short one, but oh what a joy it is. After the initial hassle to get in the car and situated, we ride together and read. The book we read is usually so interesting that we make it through one or two sentences before stopping to chat. I love those chats. I love the boy I share that with. And I love the man who wrote the book we read even more. The Bible is so timeless that we can study it in any form, for any length of time, with any age level, and come away blessed. I pray that Jarrod finals as much blessing as I do in the pages we study together. Truly, these rides and this read are a highlight of my day.

Vitamin Defeat

There comes a day in each gardener's summer when nothing remains but defeat. In my summer, anyway. It's inevitable. And this year, the raspberries staged my surrender. So carefully I had pruned them. Pulling each stringy imposter, the suckers that steal water and space, I had created a masterpiece. Docile plants, lined up like soldiers, tied to their guide wires for emphatic good measure.

We're the ones in control here. Don't forget it.

But come August, no matter my work in the spring, the berries look always the same. Scraggly things, lolling at odd angles in the sun, ignoring my glare as I pass through their gauntlet with care.

How do they do it? Transform in a season from domestic to Amazonian and strangely unnerving. What's their reason?

It's subversive. I debate their worth from my front room. They've beat me ... again.

And then I discover what they've really been hiding.

Berries - a surprise harvest - hover beneath each errant leaf. It seems that this outgrowth of brambles, unlooked-for and scorned, had reasons I could not have planned for.

I harvest in silence.

Oh yes, it is my defeat. But victory would have tasted so much less sweet.

the presidential
debate drones, and my hot cup
of tea fades to warm.

Vitamin short

New idea people. I am not finding or creating much space for this sort of things so we will go with Haiku for awhile see if that's more manageable. I accomplish so very little beyond homeschooling that my creative juices rarely simmer, much less boil to the surface. But I am content. Maybe Nathan's a better vitamin title for this page. Vitamin Content. Because I am... In it all. Life is short and it's okay for me to spend this season of it serving so intensely...there's eternity, after all, in which I will someday bask. Just praying for balance to make sure I am not burning out in the mean time... And now, the Haiku...

It's good, when I'm sick,
And comforting, too, to eat
Some Dubliner cheese.

Vitamin Ezekiel

I confess.

I've been doing some slogging lately, and it's left me feeling quite dry. It's not just my personal life - although I am abundantly blessed, I'm equally blessed with a crowded schedule - it's also my internal dialogue that's jolted my sense of contentment.

See, I'm the queen of Putting Things Off. And there are a few things in my heart that need to be dealt with. Things like my Grandpa's recent death, for one. He must have impacted me even more than I know, because I'm stuck in the "numb" phase of grieving and can't seem to escape. Also, I should be dealing with things like boundaries in relationships, foibles in parenting, hiccups in my marriage, and of course, my thighs (it's a crime to be Woman and not mention this one.)

So it's clear I'm full up with shlup. I could really use an infusion of green tea for my soul, a jump start that would nourish me into action, clarity, and a svelte jogging suit ... or at least sneakers. But instead, my devotional life has kept me slogging, as well. Darn it all!

See, I started a Bible reading plan that works for me this year. And by "works for me," I mean there's a tolerable chance I'll finish the Book before the ball drops in Times Square six months from now. Which is great and all, if I measured Bible Reading Success in checkmarks and chapters read.

But, alas, I do not. I tend to open The Book with an internal prayer that goes something like this: "Heeelp!" And generally, when I loiter for months in the Psalms or 1 John, my prayer is answered in full. I come away ready for the slogging ahead, a spring in my step and the vision of a morning run nearly tangible in my revved up mind. God's Word has a caffeine-like, St. John's Wort-like affect on my soul ... I hear it can be addicting.

But. This addiction gets noticeably weaker when I discipline myself to slog, I mean read, through the Old Testament ... every word. Currently I've just finished wading through Ezekiel - not a wade I'd recommend when you're stressed. There are wheels ... lots of wheels. And eyes, kind of everywhere. Yes, there are angels, but they're not saying things I like to hear. And there are judgments. So, so many judgments. My brain hurts when I read about the evils of Israel, Egypt, Judah, Jerusalem, and every Tom, Dick, and Harry within fighting distance of the Holy Land. Finding a kind word is like gasping a breath of fresh air when you're drowing - never often enough, and too short for any real comfort. During this past week of enduring Ezekial, I felt as dry as the bones he prophesied over towards the end of the book - "Can these bones live?" Come on, God. You're kidding about good things here ... right?

But just as I sat poised to check Ezekiel off the list of inspirational books in my Bible, something hit me square in the heart. And it didn't hit me just once: It powed me 64 times in a row, just in case I wasn't listening.

It was so simple - so obvious! A little phrase tucked neatly in nearly every corner of this hodge-podge of a book:

"________ shall know that I am the Lord."

The blank could be filled in with Israel, or the nations, or whomever God chose address, but the motive remained constant ... and repetitive. God delivered the phrase after judgments, promises, statements about Himself ... you name it. He threw that phrase around like our generation says like. It was, like, everywhere.

And there, at last, sparkled my inspiration - staring me in the face over and over, a field of four-leaf clover in bloom. God delivers everything - the good, the bad, even the ugly (um ... even thighs) with the ultimate desire that each thing will help me know He is Lord. It's a dogged game plan, not too creative, but in Ezekiel, it comes to light as so Divine, so revealing, that it takes my breath away in a fury. I get the sense that Someone carved my initials with Theirs on every tree in the forest ... wrote 'I love you' on confetti and showered my street. I get the sense that this Someone lurks everywhere ... even in the slog through life as a grown-up ... telling me the brazen Truth about Him and His wild love for me.

And I'm smitten. Gone are the doldrums surrounding this plough through the Word, through the day, through tragedy, sorrow, and peace, toward my goal. For I've recognized that the Bible really does come alive ... as do I. In fact, we've both been alive all along. Kind of like those old bones. What seems dead to Ezekiel or me may really just be resting - waiting for the Divine hand of Love to revive it again ... to new life, new purpose, new joy.

And maybe, just maybe, a new route to jog ... in the morning.